Can I Keep My Name When I Get Married?

Getting married is a huge step and changing your name is also a big step too and letting go of your surname might not be as easy as you thought.

Years ago it was just traditional for a woman to take the surname of her husband and that was that, these days things are a bit different there is no law to say that you have to take on your partners surname and the whole process is gender neutral quite rightly so either partner could take on either name or both names.

So what advice is there to you here, should you take on their name, keep your own or consider using a double-barrelled surname instead?

When you get married there is a sense of togetherness and it does make sense to have the same surname as your partner to reflect that togetherness at the start of a new and exciting adventure of married life, you might love the sound of your new name and more than happy to take on their surname

If you don’t quite get on with your new name remember that it will take some time for you to get used to it and it might sound a little strange now but once you are married it will become the norm. Some people may even argue that by taking on a new surname it would lead to you having a rhyming name, a difficult pronunciation or something that sounds a bit odd but there is absolutely no harm in having a unique name and sounding a bit light hearted.

There are of course other more important reasons you might not like your new married surname rather than just what it sounds like, for example you may have children of your own that have your surname and you want to keep the same surname so you are the same however there is the option of also changing your children’s names to your new one if you really wanted to.

One huge drawback for those getting married where their partners have previously married are that you could be in a position where you don’t want to have the same surname as your partner’s ex or exes where your partner had been married more than once in the past! You could even find that both your first name and your last name would be the same so it be advantageous for you both you kept your own name or double barrelled it to avoid those awkward feelings!

You may decide that you would prefer to stick to using your current surname for various reasons perhaps you had a death in your family and want to keep your name so you can retain the ties to this or maybe you are getting married when you are middle aged and are reluctant to give up your name, you not quite like the sound of your new name or they may be a relative in your new family who would have the exact name as yours!

There is nothing wrong with keeping your own surname and you are entitled to do that, you might want to keep your prefix for example as “Miss” rather than take on “Mrs” and then you might be in a position where you have to explain to people that you are actually married. One of the upsides is that you do not need to spend time updating your paperwork and identification.

A good solution to all this would be to adopt the double barrelled approach where you take on your partner’s name as well as retaining your own, there are no laws regarding this and so you could double barrel whichever way round you want to or perhaps add a middle name if you wanted to be different. 

Some couples take the step to double barrel both of their names this is often the case where children are involved or even in same sex partnerships. There is huge advantage of doing this for obvious reasons as this would keep everyone happy!!

There are no rules with all of this you just need to find what works the best for both you and your partner and if you really don’t want to take on your partner’s surname be honest and upfront about how you feel from the outset as that will save any bad feelings later on.